Good care should be visible
Families are often told a service is person-centred without being shown what that means. Good dementia care can be seen in ordinary interactions. Use these ten expectations as conversation starters, not as a substitute for clinical or regulatory advice.
1–3: respect, voice and identity
1. The person is spoken to directly and respectfully. 2. Their choices and communication are supported, not dismissed because they have dementia. 3. Workers know the person beyond tasks: preferred name, culture, roles, routines, relationships and what matters to them.
4–6: communication, independence and consent
4. Information is clear, calm and offered one idea at a time. 5. Support protects abilities by using time, prompts and setup before taking over. 6. Permission is sought before touch and personal care, with privacy protected throughout.
7–8: responsive distress support and continuity
7. Distress triggers curiosity about pain, health, environment, fear and unmet need; it is not reduced to a label. Sudden changes are medically reviewed. 8. Helpful strategies are recorded and shared so the person is not forced to re-teach every worker.
9–10: partnership and accountability
9. Families, chosen supporters and advocates are included with the person’s consent, while the person remains central. 10. Feedback and complaints are welcomed, acted on and communicated clearly. Services should be able to explain how their practice aligns with relevant Australian rights and quality standards.
Use the checklist
Choose two or three points for the next care meeting. Ask for examples: ‘How will staff support Mum to choose her clothes?’ or ‘What happens when Dad becomes distressed during personal care?’ Specific questions create better plans than broad assurances. Good care is not perfection. It is a consistent willingness to listen, adapt, protect rights and keep seeing the person.
How to use expectations without creating conflict
Begin with shared purpose: ‘We all want Dad to feel safe and respected.’ Choose specific examples and ask curious questions before making accusations. ‘I noticed he is often dressed before breakfast even though he used to choose after eating. How is that preference recorded?’ Listen to constraints, agree on an action and ask when it will be reviewed. If concerns involve serious safety, neglect or rights, use the service’s complaint pathway and seek independent advocacy or regulatory advice.
Keep evidence practical
Write dates, what occurred, who was present, the effect on the person and what response was given. Save relevant emails and care-plan updates. Avoid recording other people’s private information or using emotional labels in place of facts. Clear records help a service investigate and help families explain patterns. They are especially important when workers change or the same concern has been raised more than once.
Good care includes repair
No family or service gets every interaction right. A strong care culture notices harm, apologises, learns and changes the plan. It does not become defensive or treat feedback as disloyalty. Repair might mean retraining, a different routine, clearer communication, clinical review or a new worker match. The measure is not whether a mistake ever occurred; it is whether the person’s experience was taken seriously and the response reduced the chance of repetition.
A note for the person receiving support
If you are living with dementia, these expectations belong to you. You do not have to be easy to support to deserve dignity. You can ask questions, express dissatisfaction and seek help to make a complaint. A diagnosis may change how information is offered, but it should not make your rights or preferences invisible.
A small action for this week
Take the checklist to the next meeting and select three expectations, not all ten. Ask for a concrete example and an agreed action for each. Write the owner and review date. If the response is vague, ask how the action will be seen in the person’s ordinary day.
A gentle next step
Respectful communication is one clear sign of good care. Read How to Communicate When Dementia Changes the Conversation for practical, gentle strategies.
This article provides general information and does not replace advice from your doctor or another qualified professional.